Tips for being more effective at sharing news, proposing ideas, and asking questions
You spend a lot of time communicating —maybe more than you realize. And how you communicate matters. Ultimately, it’s how you connect with other people. Whether you’re composing a message, speaking up in class, or having a one-on-one conversation, you’ll be more effective if you feel comfortable in your approach. There is no single “right” way to do it. Instead, the goal is to develop a style that works for you with the people in your life. As with any skill, it takes practice.
In a sense, you were born for this. Your background, experiences, and perspective are already part of your voice — everything you say has your personal tone. If you start there and add a few tools, you’ll feel like yourself as you choose your words — and they’ll land as you intend.
Know Your Audience and Listen Up
Before you start talking or writing, get a picture of who you are communicating with and what matters to them. A professor reading a late-night email about a deadline and a friend checking messages on the way to class both need different levels of detail. Taking a few seconds to think about your audience can change how you begin and what you say. The closer you get to matching what you’d like to communicate with your audience’s capacity to hear it, the better it will go.
Listening is the other part of that equation. Author Krista Tippett puts it this way in her book Becoming Wise: “Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” In a broader sense, intentionally using language your audience can truly hear helps them be better listeners. In a written message, take that extra moment to focus on what may make your reader receptive. In person, it’s about tuning in to all the cues, verbal and nonverbal, to pick up on what people need from you — like more context or an example that drives your point home.
Focus on Clarity, Confidence, and Connection
The simple “3 Cs” can take you far. Think of them as guideposts — not rules — and chart your own path.
CLARITY
Don’t Try to Say Everything —Just Say the Right Things Clearly
Communicating clearly means avoiding flowery phrases and unnecessary words that can detract from your message. As Harvard Digital Content Producer Mary Sharp Emerson advises in 8 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills, “The key to powerful and persuasive communication — whether written or spoken — is clarity and, when possible, brevity.” Lead with your main point and if needed, wrap up with a quick recap.
CONFIDENCE
You Can Sound Confident Even if You Don’t Feel Confident
Confidence comes from preparation, presence of mind, and practice. Stay grounded in your purpose and hold that intention. Staying on message takes discipline, which builds confidence. Think through what you’d like to say, then edit out parts that won’t help get the point across. Your cadence, especially when speaking, also makes a difference. Rushing through, over-explaining a point, or leaning into a tangent can lose your audience. Imagine you’re communicating with someone who genuinely wants to understand your message and give them what they need to stay with you.
CONNECTION
Build a Sense of “We”
There’s a concept known as connectional intelligence coined by communication expert Erica Dhawan, who explains that “connection is your superpower, and clarity is how you unlock it.” Connection grows when your language is focused and intentional, and people respond to the sense that you gathered your thoughts and chose your words with care. A clear beginning, steady middle, and focused end will help people track with you. Think of connection as guiding someone through your thoughts. Use an easy-to-follow structure — and words and phrases that will resonate with your audience — to make them feel included.
Putting It All Together
Ever read an email and think “They used AI to write this”? Or listen to someone give a speech that sounded like somebody else wrote it? Your audience can usually tell if it’s really you behind your words, so communicate from where you are.
In addition to taking a “less is more” approach with language, remember that how you say something can be just as important as what you say. Along the way, pay attention to the times people receive your message well, and build on what you did to earn that response. As you do this, your sense of clarity, confidence, and connection will grow. So get comfortable and keep communicating. Develop your own style. Go at your own pace, and stay true to yourself and your purpose. After all, you were born for this.
