Roommates are an integral part of the college experience. Whether it's dorms, suites, or apartment rentals, roommates are bound to be there. First, it's important to recognize that for some students living at college may be their first time away from home. It’s a big transition from living with your family to living with a complete stranger. Here are five tips for getting along with roommates to make everyone’s experience safe, productive, and fun.
Communicate expectations
The most important step to a good solid relationship with a roommate is to have clear communication. This is easier said than done, but experts suggest beginning the relationship with your roommate like a business transaction with an agreed list of expectations. Many resident assistants (RAs) encourage and require roommates to make a contract that clearly defines the expectations of the room (see "On Topic" below). Start communicating before you even arrive on campus, whether it's in person or virtually. Building the relationship with your roommate will benefit you both.
Get to know your schedules
Once you’re on campus, familiarize yourself with your roommate’s schedule, including classes, jobs, research, and other obligations throughout the week. Familiarity of each other's schedule will lead to less confusion about when the other needs privacy or quiet time to work in your room as well as determining good times to hang out together.
Be prepared to compromise
Compromising is crucial to a positive relationship with a roommate. Perhaps you discuss and designate specific tasks to keep your room tidy, including cleaning certain areas, or simply keeping your side of the room neat. Creating a chore chart can help ensure that both roommates are pulling their weight. There is also a need for personal compromise. Be conscious of any cultural and social differences between you and your roommate. For example, you may be outgoing, while your roommate is more reserved. Ask if it’s OK to bring friends over. Remember to keep an open mind and remain respectful.
Deal with issues as they come
It’s pretty rare that any two (or more) people get along perfectly while living in close quarters. So when an inevitable issue comes up, it's important to address it. Don’t wait for little things to become large issues to deal with them. If something is bothering you or making you uncomfortable, speak up in the moment. When you raise the issue in a respectful manner, more times than not, your roommate will adjust their behavior.
Use your resources
The common thread of all of this advice is respect and setting expectations. If you and your roommate can do that effectively, you will succeed. Remember, there are plenty of resources for students if things don’t go well. Reach out to your RA if an issue becomes too large to deal with on your own. They are trained and ready to help, so don’t be afraid to talk to them.
College is a time of great growth and change, and having a good relationship with your roommate will make the entire experience better! Nothing is perfect, but these are five tips will help you make the most of living with a roommate.
Adjusting to life with a college roommate can be challenging. Some students opt to set up a roommate contract. This agreement is a great way to ensure everyone understands the expectations and general rules established by the roommates. If you choose to create a roommate contract, here are some topics you should cover.
Sharing Determine which items in the room are sharable or off limits. For the shared items, talk about what happens if something breaks. Who is responsible for replacing things like batteries, toner, or paper? Also, what’s the plan if something breaks or is stolen?
Schedules Compare schedules as well as morning and night routines. Establish when it’s okay to have friends in the room versus when someone prefers quiet time?
Study Time Everyone has their unique study habits, so consider things like the time of day each person likes to study and if they study in silence, with music, wearing headphones, or even with the TV on. Decipher what each person needs to make some in-room study time possible?
Borrowing It’s inevitable that a roommate will borrow or take something without asking. Create rules about borrowing things. For instance, you might agree that’s it’s all right to eat each other’s food provided you don’t finish it all. Or perhaps you agree that you can take something as long as you pay for it or replace it within 24 hours.
Boundaries Most dorm rooms are cozy, so be sure to talk about space. If you’re a clean freak, what are your limits on messiness? Are your roommate's friends allowed to hang out on your bed or at your desk when you’re not there? When is it okay for people to stop by or stay over — and is there a limit on how many people? Finally, how early or late can people to be in the room?
Living with a roommate can be awkward at first, but the sooner you establish roommate rules the easier the transition will be. Roommate relationships can be an amazing perk to the college experience, and starting strong from the beginning is a great way to eliminate problems in the future.
