We’ve all heard it: workplace feedback, constructive or otherwise. Sometimes we’re expecting it, and sometimes we’re not. Whatever the circumstances, receiving criticism — or praise, for that matter — is a significant skill that can almost always be improved by applying some thought and practice. With companies and organizations spending millions every year on employee engagement programs — and workplace engagement levels at a record high in the United States — feedback conversations are in your work life to stay.
“Most of us find the prospect of a feedback conversation daunting at the best of times, even in the context of a friendly relationship,” observes educator and executive coach Ed Batista. He emphasizes that “effective feedback doesn’t happen spontaneously,” it’s something we all have to learn about and get better at as we go.
With that in mind, here are some pro tips for using feedback successfully.
Listen up. Think of feedback as a tool that initially most people don’t know how to use very well (do you remember the first time you took a hammer to a nail?). Some of us are better at giving and receiving feedback than others. So when you find yourself face to face (or screen to screen) with a senior colleague or manager using the tool, it’s a good idea to be respectful and listen up. Whether or not you agree with what you’re hearing, someone is doing their best to use the tool. So don’t interrupt and take some notes if that helps you focus.
Focusing often means taking a breath and stifling any immediate reaction. Do your best to not take the feedback personally. Truly listening requires clearing away any noise in your head. We almost always have background conversations happening in our thoughts when other people are talking. You may find yourself thinking of what to say next — or how you might argue with an opinion being expressed — rather than genuinely taking in what’s being said.
These points apply to receiving positive feedback as well, which oddly enough is tough for a lot of people. Resist any urge to downplay your contribution or point out what you could have done better. Being self-aware calls for knowing your strengths as well as any weaknesses. In fact, there is research showing that despite the attention paid to constructive criticism, 70 to 80 percent of leaders and employees will benefit more by improving what they are doing right.
Engage and ask questions. Without getting defensive or stepping on someone else’s words, ask questions to make sure you understand the feedback. You’ll learn more that way. Do you want to ask for an example or a suggestion about how to improve? It’s not unusual to have a “fight or flight” instinct kick in, especially if the feedback is negative, but asking a question can be a way to reach out and build a bridge. Resist any tendency to be frozen in fear and see if you can shift the conversation into a gear that feels more comfortable for you.
It can be helpful to summarize what you think you heard to be sure that you got it right. Sometimes we fixate on a word or phrase that feels particularly good or bad and we miss other points. Plus, let’s face it, the person speaking is probably on a feedback learning curve as well – they’re not going to say everything perfectly. Having a conversation gives the person who offered feedback the opportunity to clarify their thoughts.
Ever hear the phrase “turn a breakdown into a breakthrough?” Believe it or not, a conversation that gets off to a rocky start can turn into one that clears the way for a better and more productive path forward.
Say thank you. “Feedback is one of the most powerful — and one of the fastest — ways to learn how to be more effective in our interactions with others, particularly when it’s honest and straightforward,” says Batista. He stresses that knowing how we can improve gives us a valuable opportunity to do better. It may not feel like a gift if you’re listening to something that’s hard to hear, but make it a point to say thank you anyway. Again, this goes for positive feedback as well: Making direct eye contact and saying a sincere thank you can go a long way.
Keep in mind that offering feedback is probably not easy for the person who’s talking to you. There’s a reason that managers go through training on how to engage employees; it’s not something that comes naturally to many people. So even if your boss delivers the message a little clumsily, consider giving them the benefit of the doubt. Chances are that they have good intentions. Showing a little bit of grace in an awkward or difficult moment can make a lasting positive impression.
Also, a reminder: We’re all a work in progress. As Batista advises: “Giving and receiving feedback effectively are learnable skills, and it’s important to recognize that we can improve our facility with these skills only by actually trying them out.”
Take a beat and reflect. Take time to process the feedback conversation and decide your next steps. If the conversation included observations that you’ve heard before, perhaps there’s something for you to work on. If it included a statement that just doesn’t make sense to you, figure out whether to follow up with more questions or simply let it go.
If you think of feedback as an ongoing opportunity rather than a one-time event, it will become easier over time. If it was an altogether bad experience, avoid getting stuck in what happened. Rather than replay it in your mind, make it a priority to move forward. Rest assured that the most successful people have heard plenty of criticism in their careers.
Don’t forget that receiving feedback is an essential aspect of being a professional. As you develop this vital skill, use it to your advantage. Set new objectives to stay motivated and keep your workplace development on track. Stay focused on the road ahead, and know that it will always include feedback opportunities along the way.
On Topic
Receiving feedback gives the recipient an opportunity to listen, absorb, and act on things that are important to improving their individual performance or the performance of a given task or project. Constructive feedback allows for personal improvement because it can highlight areas that an employee needs to improve upon. Our behaviors and the way we are perceived in the workplace may be unknown to us before receiving feedback. Constructive feedback offers an opportunity to correct behaviors or actions that may be holding us back. Acting on the feedback can greatly improve performance, which leads to personal growth and future success.
Typically, employers and universities establish timelines on how often feedback opportunities should occur. But it’s important to regularly solicit feedback from your manager and colleagues while completing different phases of a given project and upon completion of important projects.
Soliciting feedback can sometimes be uncomfortable. It makes us feel vulnerable and subject to perceived ridicule. Don’t worry. Maintaining an open dialogue with those who will be giving us feedback is important, and once you get used to asking, it gets easier.
If you ask to receive feedback regularly, there really shouldn’t be any surprises at your formal feedback session. Regular feedback also ensures that you are performing at your best based on what you are hearing along the way.
How often should feedback be sought?
Feedback timing will vary depending on the types of projects you are working on. Detailed and technical projects may require frequent touch points, whereas smaller and simpler projects require less. Regardless, don’t wait for your formal review to engage in a conversation on your performance.
What is an effective strategy for digesting and applying feedback?
Listening is the key to making the most of each feedback session. Listen carefully with an open mind. Try not to interrupt the person giving you feedback. Avoid becoming defensive or argumentative. While you may feel that the other person’s assessment is incorrect, giving them the time to fully explain their observations creates the vibrant, open, and productive environment required for honest and clear feedback. Establishing a peaceful and non-threatening environment for your manager, colleague, or customer will enhance your feedback sessions.
Applying the feedback to your role is important. Try doing things differently based on the feedback you receive. Ask yourself, “Do I see improved outcomes based on how I may have changed something I was doing?” If yes, let the person who gave you the feedback know. This follow-through reinforces trust and enhances future feedback. If your feedback suggested specific changes that proved to be unsuccessful, try to reengage with the person and ask for help diagnosing the issue. Again, this creates trust and honest dialogue that will enhance your future success.
How can you measure success in applying feedback?
Applying feedback can result in success that may be large or small. Any of the actions you take, based on previous feedback, that drive value or improve a project’s outcome can be defined as successful. It’s important to share your success with the person who gave you the feedback. This step will enhance your relationship and foster goodwill — a key component of valuable feedback.
When asked to provide feedback, what are the top three things to consider?
1. Be honest. Provide feedback in a way that is not threatening or demeaning. Offer a safe environment.
2. Be specific. Give examples of where the person performed well and situations where it didn’t go well. Use data or other sources to support the discussion.
3. Be timely. Don’t wait until the sanctioned feedback schedule to offer feedback. Give feedback proactively.
