A little give and take can go a long way toward reaching a satisfactory compromise
As working professionals, we are often called upon to negotiate. We negotiate everything from multimillion-dollar deals to our next pay raise. But more important than what we’re negotiating is how we’re negotiating. To be a good negotiator, you need to know what you’re doing. Here are a few tips and tricks to help you become a master negotiator:
- Prepare, prepare, prepare. I can’t say it enough. Good negotiators always make sure they go into a negotiation prepared. Being prepared includes knowing whom you’re negotiating with, why you’re negotiating, what you’re negotiating for, and how you want the negotiating to turn out. In addition, you need to be ready to deal with any potential objections. It’s difficult to have a successful negotiation if you aren’t prepared, so don’t take that chance.
- Think of negotiating as another way of making a request or having a conversation. People often assume that a negotiation is a fight. But that doesn’t have to be the case. If you think of negotiating as another way of asking for something, you’re less likely to become argumentative during the process. This can lead to a calmer, more open, and more productive negotiation.
- Compromise. The best negotiations happen when both parties are willing to give and to receive. Come prepared to make some concessions. Just make sure that when you give something, you get something in return. If you aren’t willing to compromise, there’s a good chance you’ll walk out of the negotiation without having met your end goal.
- Focus on your strengths. If you are very social and like talking to others, take a few minutes to establish a rapport with your counterpart. This may make them more inclined to open up to you. If you’re good with facts and numbers, bring data that will help your case. If you prefer negotiating one on one, make sure to set up the negotiation that way. Playing to your strengths will give you confidence and allow you to feel more comfortable having what could be a difficult conversation.
- Reflect, evaluate, and learn from your negotiations. Each time you complete a negotiation, take some time to reflect on what happened and evaluate your performance. Did you remain calm and in control? Did you listen to the other party? Were you able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement? If not, what did you do wrong? (Or what could you have done differently?) Learning from your past negotiations will provide the information you need in order to be successful in your next negotiation.
Negotiating is a skill, and one that many people find difficult to hone. Know your strengths, and play to them. Don’t think of it as a fight, but as a conversation. Come prepared, and be ready to make concessions. Take each negotiation as a learning opportunity. Successful negotiating can get you far, so start preparing to negotiate today!
Roger Dube, Mohawk, received his BS in experimental physics from Cornell University and his PhD in physics from Princeton University. Currently assistant dean for undergraduate research and a professor at the Center for Imaging Science at RIT, Dr. Dube has also been an entrepreneur, starting two companies within the last 18 years. In addition, he was active in the foundation of the Iroquois White Corn Project at Ganondagan, holds 21 issued patents, and published a textbook on physics-based computer security. Here he provides insight on the science and craft of negotiating.
How would you define “negotiation”?
A negotiation is an active discussion between two people who are trying to reach an agreement on something. The parties typically have conflicting goals, but they both want to reach some agreement. So they negotiate. It’s a give-and-take process. The best negotiations have both parties giving up a bit but getting things that are important to them.
Are there specific steps involved? How do you initiate a negotiation?
There is no specific sequence of steps, but rather tools and guidelines for how to participate in a negotiation. Negotiators bring up topics that are important to them, so the sequence is mostly random. A negotiation begins when one party says “no.” Until then, it’s just a discussion. A couple might be discussing dinner, and one suggests Mexican food. If the other party says “sure,” there was no negotiation. But if that other party says “no,” then the two of them are pulling in different directions, and they need to negotiate an agreement.
Are there differences between negotiating as part of one’s professional duties and negotiating in “everyday life”?
Actually, the tools and techniques are the same for both negotiations — but in a professional setting, there are usually business arrangements that must be negotiated, and these can be tricky, complex, and have very high stakes. In everyday life, other factors can complicate things in different ways — there are long-term relationships that change how someone might respond to a negotiation.
What advice would you give to a first-time negotiator?
Plan, plan, plan! Make a list of the specific items that you want out of a negotiation, and have a good idea of how much each is worth. Never narrow your negotiation to one item. Always have several, and as you negotiate on one item, be willing to move another or return to it to renegotiate it as part of a full agreement. You should always have a “walk away” point where, if the other party gets unreasonable, you are willing to walk away from the negotiation.
Are there common mistakes that you see people make when negotiating?
There are two common mistakes that people make. First, they enter a negotiation with only one goal in mind. For example, in buying a car, never go in with the single position of “all that I want is a monthly payment of less than $200.” Skilled negotiators can get everything they want and still provide you with that one item. In this example, the person will likely walk away with a higher interest rate than they should, and perhaps a bigger down payment.
A second common mistake is negotiating against yourself. Always make the other party put forward their position before you respond. For example, you’re looking at a used car that has no price tag, and you ask about it. If the salesman says, “Make me an offer,” you are being asked to negotiate against yourself. It’s the salesman’s car, how much do they want? You’re not selling it, they are! Imagine how you would feel if you said, “$5,000,” and he said, “It’s a deal!” You will likely feel that you offered above what they were expecting and could have gotten a lower price. Otherwise, he would not have responded like he did. If they say, “Make me an offer,” refuse, and politely insist that they tell you what they are looking for. Once you have that information, you can make a reasonable counteroffer.
Do you have any tips for those of us who find it difficult to ask for what we want?
This can be difficult if your culture frowns upon what is seen as “greed.” In that case, don’t negotiate for yourself. In your mind, make the negotiation for the benefit of your spouse, sibling, child, or parent. With that perspective, you are more likely to handle the negotiation with determination and without any restraints. In your mind, do the best you can for them, so the “greed” argument goes away.
If there comes a time when a compromise just can’t be reached, what do you recommend?
It’s better to walk away from a bad agreement than to say “yes.”
Do you have any additional comments on this topic?
Negotiating is a learning process. I learned new things from every negotiation I entered. Be open to seeing new tricks, and be quick on your feet.
